Who I Am
by Rae Logan
Summary: Sidestory to TD series. Mephiles contemplates on the past nine months, and regards himself for what he really is.


I got this idea while looking at a screenshot for Shadow's game.

The idea of being in Mephiles' pov in his right mind sounded too good to pass up :D. So this is a lighthearted story, void of angst as a request of a couple of people. But it is still good (comment aimed at The All Real Numbers Symbol... who seems to also love tha angst. :D Waves at her and grins).

I figured there isn't enough first person povs for Mephy, so I'm adding to it for ya.

Please... enjoy ;p

* * *

Krystal clamps onto my head, Sharpe throws a glare at her. The wind breezes gently through my quills; they aren't crystal tipped right now… Sharpe snipped them off while I was sleeping yesterday… so they are "normal" looking right now.

I look at my reflection in a small puddle left from the rain earlier today; most of the ground was dry already, but this puddle was still in the grassy area outside of Downtown Westopolis.

Shadow had told my of this little place during his explanation of what had happened to him to make him the kind of person he was. He told me he used to stand here for hours on end, searching for the answers in his mind like why was he haunted by his name… and why couldn't he forget about the death of a familiar blonde haired girl that he could only remember her name?

I can see why he would come here. It was close by, but secluded enough to allow you to be alone. It was pretty, especially when the setting sun's light hit the buildings of the city and created a gorgeous orange glow that casted itself in this… I guess I would compare it to a small meadow… there were too many hills and small cliffs to be called a field.

I watch the wind ripple through the grass, creating unique waves that passed through them.

Shadow and I are very similar, no matter how much either of us may have denied it before.

We both are results of lab experiments created to change something in the natural order of life. We both were considered some form of weapon against humanity by those who did not understand us, and feared our potential in power. We share the former hatred of humanity, but are both working on accepting it was just a mistake. We never had a chance to prove what we were really for before a misunderstanding led us into darkness, and nearly made us do something we would forever regret when we came to our senses. We were once broken… nearly shattered beyond repair with nearly no hope of ever being revived from our sinister sides that had awaken with our self pity and hurt.

But together, we became friends after a good amount of time. He once hated me, and I did him… and at that time, _neither _of us would have guessed we'd be where we are today. We shared interests and ideas… differences weren't all that different between us at all once we took a try at getting to know each other.

Though, I'll admit… I was more willing to make friends with him in the early days after our first encounter than he was. And who could blame him? My actions nearly killed the both of us, and maybe countless future lives.

He also hated me because I was a living embodiment of what he _could _have been… what he may have become if his path took an even deeper turn downward. Without his friends to guide him… he may have become a monster like me. Correction… a monster like what I_ was_…

But now… I guess you could say we're a bit like brothers. Sure… he teases me, and won't pass up a moment to nitpick about a small detail… but he's also there when I need someone… he's always trying to look out for my well being… and countless times already, he's managed to save my butt when I was in danger.

He could have left me behind, and let danger and harm befall me… but the fact that he didn't is enough proof that he does care about what happens to me… even if he's too stubborn to admit it sometimes…

The biggest thing we have in common now is that we have both been given a second chance to prove ourselves, what we can really do, and what we are capable of becoming for the benefit of others…

I sit down on the ground and lean my back against the tree behind me. Watching the grass ripple again, I shift my thinking to Rouge.

I owe a lot to her. If not for her, I wouldn't have been given that second chance. She saw the good in me, even when I could not.

I guess I would call her my "sister"… I always seem to seek her out when I have a problem, emotion-wise. When Shadow is not around, she keeps a close watch on me, ready to help if I need it.

She was the first to show me kindness, though at the time, I flatly rejected it.

When I was evil and had fused to Shadow, gaining control of his brain and body at a couple points in time during those long forty-eight hours, I messed up on an attack, and slipped, thus falling into Soleanna's water "streets" behind me. It was at that moment I learned of my (and Shadow's…) inability to swim. I sank like a rock and if not for Rouge… I would have died right then and there due to lack of oxygen.

She said she only rescued me because if she left me in, Shadow would have died as well.

I was mad… angry that she was given a chance to end it all, and she chose the path that would have dragged out my plan for longer. I concluded at the time that Mobians' minds work in a simple yet complex way, in which the answer you receive is simple… so simple that you cannot comprehend a single meaning to it. I was only partly right.

The real reason behind it was that Shadow was her friend… and she knew he would have done the same for her. She must have meant in another way, though… like I said… Shadow can't swim…

When she separated us, we were not ourselves, but rather… _swapped_. Shadow tried to attack her because he felt my burning hatred of things I did not understand, and my frustration. It may have driven him close to pure madness, even. For that… I am truly sorry…

I was also different at the time. I felt his remorse, and his confusion. I felt his pain, and what made him who he was… though I never knew why. I protected Rouge from him the best I could, repaying her for my rescue from the water earlier. I was injured, even to the point of nearly passing out, but something drove me to keep fighting… to stop the darkness I had a hand in releasing.

I learned that day that friendship was really important… nay… _crucial _for one to feel satisfied. Rouge had pitied me, realizing that I was just a victim of a misunderstanding… much like Shadow. After I froze Shadow with a nearby Emerald, I could no longer move much, as if my body knew that everything I needed to do was finished, giving me a chance to take a break after losing a lot of blood. I bled for the first time that day… It had shocked me so much, that I also lost my conscious thought…

Rouge made two wishes on the Emerald; neither of them was for herself. She had wished for us to return to normal, to be ourselves again. The power in the wish was so much, that my remaining strength faded quickly to zero and I promptly passed out once my personality was returned my body. I never heard the second wish when it was made, but I woke up sometime later to find myself to resemble a cross between my two Shadow-like forms. But I had also gained a few features that were not there before… such as a mouth, and feet. In short, I'm a half crystalline hedgehog… the one Emerald couldn't make me a whole normal hedgehog… but I'm not complaining. The point of me saying this is that Rouge wished that I was able to start over with a clean slate… and pretty much chose my own path.

And that is why I am what I look like now…

Sharpe climbs onto my shoulder as I lean forward to view my reflection again.

A dark blue hedgehog, with hands and feet made of icy blue crystal rock; my accents are that as well. Red rimmed, lime green eyes stare back, their slit like pupils long gone since Dark disappeared, leaving them to have a somewhat softer look to them. My crystal tipped ears are perked forward in curiosity, and I see my chaos lean forward as well, trying to see what I saw.

I smirk… no one can really see what I saw, for what I see is something that only I can….

A glimpse of their purple tinged wingtips shoots my mind to Rae, and her dog Jak.

The most peculiar couple of souls I've ever met… but I enjoy being around them, and vice versa.

In a way… Rae is like me… lost in a world that she does not fully comprehend, but tries to anyway. I've learned quite a lot from being around her.

She takes time to enjoy the little things in life, and searches for hidden meanings… even if they aren't there. She is driven by the fact that she wants to _live… _as in make her mark on the world, and brighten the lives of others as well. She lives for the sound of crickets chirping on a summer night. For the sweet tastes of things caramel and cheesecake. For the sight of the flowers that bloom in the spring, and for the blankets of the petals that fall from the trees of cherry blossoms in the summer as well as the beautiful colors the trees give in the autumn. She believes that a dandelion puff carries the power to grant a wish on a breath, and loves to watch the fluffy seeds fly.

She takes in her world and embraces it, regardless if it is nice or not, and accepts things for what they are. She sees the light in even that darkest off times, and sets aside her own fears if it means to help another.

Jak is similar, but somewhat the opposite. He tries to be what he can be, because he cares about Rae. He will not let harm befall her if he can help it, but sometimes he regresses to his old state of mind, losing himself until it wears off, or until Rae can call him back with a hug or just keeping him from getting hurt.

When this happens, I am reminded of the times when Shadow had to restrain me to keep me from injuring myself. I had no control over my actions at the time, and was very unpredictable. There were times when he got hurt during these episodes, and I would curse and mentally kick myself for allowing such loss off control to happen.

I am contradicting myself… _because_ I had no control over myself during these times; I wasn't really _allowing_ myself to do that, per se. During my spells, my mind was elsewhere and rarely made contact with me. I'd really have no clue what I did during these times, so regaining sense was often a frightening experience for me… _any_thing could have happened. The were times, to my horror, that I would first notice the scratches and bit marks that Shadow had received for helping me in this state. None of them were ever serious… at least… I _think_ so… they never got infected or something. But then again… Rouge was always cleaning our wounds for us.

It has been nine months since this all started. Nine months since I renounced my dark ways, and took favor of a new life.

I am like Shadow… once dark, brooding and mysterious because of a misunderstanding that screwed up our lives. I am like everyone… but I am also myself...

The sun is beginning to disappear, and the sky is littered with the lights of stars. One streaks past, and I smile to myself, knowing somewhere in the city, Rae is making a wish on it.

I look back at my reflection in the puddle and grin.

I stand up to leave to go back home, knowing if I didn't get there within the half hour, Rouge and Shadow would be worried.

My Chaos rest on me as I turn towards the city, pausing only for a moment.

I am Mephiles the Dark. I have chosen the right path now, and live as one that people like. They do not fear me, nor hate me, nor shun me. I have friends, a past, a present, and a future. I am loved, and I love back.

I am no longer a "thing", nor a "demon", nor a "monster", nor a "beast". I am a hedgehog, and I am someone. I enjoy that about myself, and wouldn't give this up for anything.

I am a friend, and a "brother". I am a "son" to someone, as well as a "dad" to two Chaos.

My friends are my family, and I am theirs.

My name is Mephiles…

And _this_ is who I am…

I declare that proudly to the empty meadow, as loud as my voice can go. The sounds of night greet my ears as my response, and I nod, turning back towards the city and start my way home.

I think to myself about what I said as a streetlight flickered on above my, lighting my way.

Yeah… I like the sound of that… I really do…

_This_ is who I am…

I could get used to that…

* * *

I like the ending a lot.

I wrote this to shed some more light on Mephy's character, so that we understand who he is.

Hope you liked it :D


End file.
